Ungodly Relationships
Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by to read this article! If you’re new here, welcome! If you’re a returning Rebel looking for part three in this series on Relationships, welcome back! Before we begin, I urge you to check out the other articles on this topic, Loneliness, Companionship, and an older post called, Unequally Yoked—they’re all good, I promise! Use the form below to subscribe so you’ll be notified of updates.
My last post talked about Praying for Companionship; we know that God wants us to have loving relationships during our time here on earth. Whether you are praying for a spouse, a good friend, or a restored relationship with a family member, God wants you to enjoy the presence of others and enjoy a relationship with Him. Today we’re going to talk about what happens when you don’t wait on God and attempt to build friendships/relationships without Him.
Ungodly relationships happen all the time, all around us, each and every day. Sometimes we can’t help the connections we make; we have to work around unsaved people, we go to school with unsaved people, we live around and even with unsaved people. That’s part of our lives as Believers—we are constantly surrounded by others who are not like us. But that’s OKAY.
God never said we couldn’t have unsaved friends, family, and neighbors. But He did advise against us being so attached to these people.
II Corinthians 6:14 NIV says, Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
I am sure you have heard this verse many times before; every time I’ve heard it mentioned in a sermon, its been in reference to dating. Don’t date anyone who isn’t Christian! Don’t marry an atheist! While I 100000000% agree with those remarks, I want to remind you that romance is not the only way to be unequally yoked with someone.
In my article, Unequally Yoked, we talk about the definition of yoke—not the yolks you might have had for breakfast, but the yoke of an animal. This is a device that is used to join something together, often a pair of animals.
On a farm you might see two oxen yoked together as they pull heavy equipment around the field. You may see a young calf yoked to an older one to teach it how to work and behave. Even in periods of slavery you might have seen two humans yoked together in chains to make escaping much more difficult.
A yoke isn’t something that can be easily removed and, while in place, it may cause pain or stress on the body after long periods of time.
My friend, I think it is very easy to see why Paul warns us about being unequally yoked. You can be unequally yoked to your best friend, to your sibling, your neighbor, your co-worker, or your girlfriend/boyfriend. But the best thing about that is that we serve a God who specializes in breaking chains and destroying strongholds.
My friend, it is not a bad thing to desire a spouse or a friend or a good relationship with your family. I’m not writing this article to tell you that you can’t have friends or enjoy a wonderful love life, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t trust and wait on God to send you these relationships then you may end up in an ungodly relationship, yoked to someone who can only bring you negativity and frustrate your spiritual growth.
How do you know when you are in an ungodly relationship?
The first thing you need is to be honest with yourself. If you’re wondering about your relationship and whether it honors and glorifies God, then, chances are, you are probably in an ungodly relationship. But let’s dive deeper than that.
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, or family member a Christian? Are they saved by Grace and covered under the Blood of Christ Jesus? Have they repented of their sin and declared Christ Jesus as their Lord and Savior? Do they tithe and regularly attend church?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you are connected with an ungodly person. My personal advice would be to run for the hills right now and never look back, but I know everyone has their own story—sometimes it simply isn’t that simple.
What if the person you are thinking of is your own mother? What if you are only recently saved and your spouse is not?—You’re already married, should you divorce your husband or wife now? What if your best friend is unsaved but they’re also your roommate? Should you move out and break your lease and never speak to them again???
When you’re with these people you know are unsaved, what are you doing? Are you hanging out with them, enjoying dinner and movies and going shopping? Or are you using your time to invite them to church? To witness to them and share the Word?
Sometimes we cannot help our situation; we don’t get to choose our family and we don’t always get to choose our co-workers. But we do get to choose our friends and once we realize we are in an ungodly relationship; we have the choice to leave.
If you are witnessing to your unsaved friends and family, that’s wonderful! But don’t hide behind your Bible as an excuse to stay in a relationship you know is not something God wants for you. It is very easy to make excuses by saying, maybe I will lead them to Christ but look at the scripture from I Corinthians 15:33 NIV, Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.
If you are in a romantic relationship with an ungodly person, I believe you should leave that person right away. If you are friends with an ungodly person, I believe you should leave that person right away. If you have a family member who is unsaved, I believe you should leave that person right away.
This may sound harsh but remember I Corinthians 15:33. It might seem nice and sweet to stick around because you care about your family, friends, and lover, but the Word is very clear—do not be misled. As much of a chance you have at leading someone to righteousness, that unsaved person also has a chance to lead you back into darkness. Bad company corrupts good character.
I have unsaved friends and family I truly want to see in heaven, but I am not willing to risk my own spiritual growth for them. Maybe I won’t fall into sin from catching up with an old friend, but while I was catching up, I could have been praying, fasting, or witnessing to someone who is sincerely interested in the Word of God.
Instead of deciding on my own that I am going to try to save someone in my own power, I pray for the unsaved people in my life and I ask God for guidance on how I can help them through His wisdom. What I don’t do, is spend time with people who have no interest in spending time with God.
It is OKAY to desire friends, family, and romance, but when you start seeking it on your own, according to your own judgment of who is and isn’t a good person, you run a very high risk of falling into a relationship that is nothing but a distraction. Ask God for friends. Ask God to send you the spouse He wants you to have. Ask God to restore relationships within your family.
Whenever you are with someone who is unsaved, ask yourself, am I glorifying God in this relationship? Are my actions pleasing to the Lord? Sometimes we find ourselves connected to people we enjoy but our spirit does not. I can’t tell you what to do—and I don’t want to tell you what to do—I just want you to be careful of your friends and family and especially careful of your romantic interests. Wait on God, that is the wisest thing a person can do.
If you want more information on relationships, read my other articles on Loneliness and Praying for Companionship, or take a look at Unequally Yoked. Use the form below to sign up for my newsletter and get notified of updates.
Until next time, God bless!